


No more knights

by justAleks



Series: Knight in the dark [2]
Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 21:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19304632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justAleks/pseuds/justAleks
Summary: Axl has trouble dealing with being left behind by Izzy.





	No more knights

        The night is cold, almost freezing, and it makes Axl’s skin crawl and his lungs seize. His eyes are burning and his nose is running grossly. The ratty sweater barely shields him from the cold, but he ran away too fast to even care for clothing, he couldn’t stand to be next to the monster of a man he lived with any second longer. One of his eyes is slowly closing itself shut, red color turning darker and darker. Tomorrow it will be of an ugly purple one. He wants to scream himself hoarse and then scream some more till he spits blood. The only reason he doesn’t make a sound is that he wants to remain hidden. The useless neighbors won’t react to the arguing even when they hear the smashing of bottles but would trip over themselves in pursuit of him if Axl made an ungodly ruckus himself.

_Fuck them._

He hugs his knees closer to his chest, tucked away in the bushes near a tiny, pitiful river. Hardly anyone knows about this place and those who wanted to claim it, been chased away by Axl and Izzy, though Axl did the most of shouting and threatening. Izzy loomed behind him, surrounded by eerily air of gypsy magic and wisps of smoke.

The memory of his best friend makes him feel even colder, a shudder wracks his frame as his heart throbs painfully. The place offers very little in terms of comfort, to the point where Axl feels like the shadows are leering at him. Laughing at how pathetic he is, hiding here form the big scary world. Pointing twisted, pointy fingers and poking fun at the pathetic attempt at finding any solace in place once regarded as their little piece of heaven. Now it only brings more pain and waves of loneliness that washes over him and threatens to drown Axl. His throat swells painfully, making it impossible to swallow.

_He’s a total moron._

There was a time when Axl expected Izzy to almost materialize from thin air and make his world better. To shoo away scares and soothe the pain. Fuss over him in his own aloof way, like he cared nothing for bruises and dried tear streaks.

Izzy seemed to have a radar for the times Axl needed him the most. He was the anchor securing the ginger to sanity. The one person who cared and put up with him. The one person Axl trusted with his life and dreams. Axl remembers how they fantasized about lives far away from this shit-hole, how they planned out bright futures and safe lives.

He can almost feel the warmth of Izzy’s body pressed to his own, when they had lain, squeezing together on Izzy’s bed, listening to records and conjuring images of crazy rockstar lives they, without a doubt, will live. The reality had been pressing at the windows, threatening to swallow them whole come the morning light, but in the safety of Izzy’s room, his warm body pressed to Axl’s was always enough to ease his mind and let him be content just for a little while. He was safe.

But the reality is a cold-hearted bitch, no-one can win against. It always collects its prizes and it had to snatch Izzy from his hands and carry him all the way to big cities. Somewhere they were supposed to be _together_. Instead, Axl is hiding alone like some cornered animal, trying to swallow his tears and not choke on screams lodged in his throat.

He just wants his fucking knight in shining armor back. It’s not that much, is it?

He knew Izzy wanted to flee this place, but the feeling of betrayal still settled in his heart. And it made him angry, angry at Izzy because he had the audacity to leave him behind after making Axl believe in the better future, angry at himself for letting himself believe and for being so weak and, finally, angry at the world itself for making his life as miserable as it is.

There is a faint mist, lazily developing and flowing above the river, its ghostly tentacles are timidly licking at the shore, moving closer and closer to Axl, like they are getting ready to ambush him. He can almost see the monster dragging him deeper into the river or bushes. He wouldn’t even put a fight, going as far as welcoming being snatched away. He observes with dead eyes the milky fog like he’s waiting for something. Wonders for a moment when or even if Izzy would know that he disappeared, then it’s like a switch goes off in his mind, his whole point of view on the situation tilts.

Izzy left him behind, but before Axl get to know Izzy, he had got through life just fine. Axl grips his knees, the stupor he fell into, is slowly leaving him.

_Fuck him, fuck everybody else._

Axl doesn’t need anybody. He is not weak, he can fight his own battles. He will hunt Izzy down on his own and he will show him who he really is. Then, when he will prove his worth they again will face the world together but stronger than they ever were.

Axl scrambles up, a newly found fire in his soul fuelling him to move forward and nearly falls head first into the river. After sitting so long without moving an inch his legs fell asleep. He catches himself on his hands, scraping them on some stray rocks and sits down again, waiting for the feeling to come back to his limbs. The pain and tingles in his legs suddenly make him feel alive. Just then he realizes how hollow the abandonment left him.

Axl laughs, startling some small bird with the volume, he feels giddy, the shadows are less menacing all of sudden, now that he has a goal set before his eyes.

‘Just you wait.’ He tells the world around him, it’s getting dark and chilly, the damp air clings to his skin and makes him shiver, goosebumps break on his skin but the pink tint high on his cheeks has nothing to do with it. Axl feels warmer than he felt in weeks. He feels alive and ready to tackle anything that stands in his way.

When his legs can function again, grimacing from the needles that are still prickling his limbs, he limps towards the house he won’t live much longer in. The plan unravels in his head. Get away as far as possible, become a rockstar, prove his worth, prove he can fulfill his and Izzy’s dream and of course find Izzy, so the dream truly can come true.

He walks into the night with his head held high, chest pushed out and fire in his eyes, no shadow even dares to touch him now, every one of them settles on lurking around.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda follow up to my previous fic Under the cover of night. This time, however, there is not much hurt/comfort in sight.  
> (maybe I will write a third part? who knows)


End file.
